Gratitude

Gratitude.  It's something we oft forget to think about in our daily lives as we make our way through the days.  Screaming and fighting kids who refuse to pick up after themselves can make a person quite grumpy and wish for a place to steal away to.  It's hard to remember to be grateful when you feel so frustrated.

I know I myself try to find the silver lining in things, but it takes me a bit sometimes.  When you go out in the world and see people with their fancy cars and beautiful houses, and they are going here and there, it makes you long for things you cannot have.  Long for things you haven't even been thinking about wanting or needing.  It can make a person feel depressed and wanting.

Things aren't always as they seem though, from the outside looking in.  You see the shiny cars and fancy things, but you don't see the endless hours of working and the pile of debt hanging over someone's head. You don't see the other things in that person's life that you may not envy at all if you knew about.  We all have a face we show the world and you are seeing that public face without any idea what lies behind that mask.

And just as you are pining for the things you see others having, someone is looking at what you have and wishing they had it.  Who knows, even the person you are envying may be envying you.  And if you look back over the years of your own life and circumstances, you might find that the you from back then wanted what you have right now.

Fancy things are not the stuff happiness is made of.  When I stop to think about it, I can realize how lucky I am to have the things I do.  No one has a perfect life, but I know that I have a home, a husband who loves me and 3 beautiful, annoying, sarcastic kids who drive me crazy and leave a mess everywhere, but will almost always try to cheer me up when I am down. Who will give me a hug and do the things I do for them when they are hurt or sad.  

I love my life.  It might take me a bit, but I realize that I don't even want most of the things I wish I had that others do.  Sure there are things that I want, but they aren't the things themselves, but the things they represent, like being able to go out for an anniversary.  Having someone treat your birthday as something special even if you don't.  These are the things I really want.

But I do get those things, even if it is not in the traditional way.  Instead of flowers, it is a bed made, so I don't have to do it along with all the other things I have to do in the morning.  It is all those pictures of me with a sun shining above me that Abby gives me with a big smile on her face.  It is the way Ashley can be so nice and helpful when I need it.  And it is the way Emily seems to prattle on incessantly about whatever seems to be all she thinks about this week.  

Life is a funny thing.  There so many things in my life that I had once wished were otherwise, but I realize that without them, I would not be who I am right now.  I would not be as lucky as I am right now.  I am grateful for the things I have.  So many don't have a home, a loving spouse and 3 kids who love me so much.  I realize just how much I would long for these things if I didn't have them.  And once I realize all the things I have to be thankful for, I don't feel so wanting.  I feel gratitude.